New Addition To Family Pillows

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- it's hard to believe we're related.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"Pick me!"

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

Raised by Dogs

Child driving a toy car

Children's Dreams on Christmas Eve

'We found you in a cabbage!'

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

'Oh, nothing, just babysitting the Lord of the Rings.'

'What's that humming sound?'

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

Family working together

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

Maternity ward: 'Oh boy - stereo!'

Windmill

Same sex families - it's about love, not sex, after all...

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

"Mom, when the baby's born, can I have the bubble wrap it's shipped in?"

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

Black and white penguins with gray and black and white child.

Family sitting on sofa.

Untidy bedroom

'It's one of life's little miracles!'

'They had three puppies and four kids before me: It's almost impossible to find a piece of furniture that hasn't been chewed on...'

A woman looks at greeting cards in a section entitled "New Pie".