Academic Underachiever Gifts

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

"I don't want your teacher to think a kid with grades this bad....could possibly have a father who could read or write."

'I don't know why you're so mad. It just proves you were right about the TV turning my brains to mush.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

Overjumpers

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

'Mom, Dad! Look what I created in lab today!'

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

'What's play?'

Exam

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

U of Debt

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

How come rich kids do so well on SAT tests? Their parents give them books, fancy trips, lessons and

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

His Master's Thesis.

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

Genius Envy

Super Student

GCSEs

"I lettered in spelling."