Academic Achiever Gifts

Principal: 'Is THERE a DOCTORATE in the House?!'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

''How To Do Well In School Without Studying' is over there in the fiction section.'

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

Since college admissions officers might see his Facebook page...

'Nobody likes a smartass, Bob.'

'Is this gonna be on the test?'

School for the gifted - can't use stairs.

'My grades could be better if the school had a data driven, evidence based curriculum in the classroom.'

'My S.A.T. scores were too low? That's it?'

He's got 'I'm in grant renewal heaven' all over him.

'University tenure, now there's a sweet gig.'

Examinations.

''Excellent','excellent','a delight' - for heaven's sake, don't you ever feel like rebelling a bit?'

'This is well written, but you need something in your bibliography other than YouTube videos.'

Congratulations on your PhD.

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

'That concludes the list of students with outstanding grades. And now for those of you with outstanding student loan payments...'

"I've finished my homework for the next seven years!"

Presentation: Any questions?

"Welcome to the co-author's party! You're number twenty-one."

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

'My paper has been published by a scientific journal.'

'Straight A's. That means good.'

Teacher trying to hammer knowledge into child.

'The good news is these grades are not good enough for me to get into an expensive college.'

'May I say it's a great pleasure to present my work to such a distinquished assembly of my colleagues.'

'While outsourcing is a common business practice, you may not ousource your research and homework assignments, Fletcher.'

'He's on a roll.'

My other son is at Oxford.

Rodney Krebs: Class Valedictorian or G.P.A. whore?

'I'm sorry, but we simply can't allow you to graduate. Your coursework is complete, and your grades are exemplary, but you apparently failed to attend the group icebreakers during freshman orientation week... which as you know, were mandatory.'

'What's he going to be when he passes all his exams?' 'A pensioner!'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'Come in Justin, I just finished marking your exam.' - Grade Scale