Academic Underachiever Pillows

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

"I don't want your teacher to think a kid with grades this bad....could possibly have a father who could read or write."

'I don't know why you're so mad. It just proves you were right about the TV turning my brains to mush.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

Overjumpers

'Mom, Dad! Look what I created in lab today!'

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

Exam

'What's play?'

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

U of Debt

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

His Master's Thesis.

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

Super Student

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

GCSEs

"I lettered in spelling."

Genius Envy

Examinations.

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'