Academic Shortcut Seeker Gifts

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'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

Morton's pride was understandable. He was the first in the Pinhead Family to ever graduate.

"I think we could work very well together."

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

Identifying Scientists by their Lab Coats.

"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."

"Sorry, but you need at least a Masters to get into the Deep Woods."

"Instead of taking notes, can I just purchase a transcript of today's lesson?"

'What I called creative recycling the school called plagiarism.'

Man taking a shortcut to centre of a maze

Returning to reading

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

Cheating Alien

'I got a darn D-plus, and that's WITH cheating!'

Chad cheats death – and would live on to lead a very stupid life.

"I didn't actually read the book. I listened to it on audio."

"If you'd bullshitted your work like the rest of us, you'd be home by now."

"I always choose immediate gratification over vague rewards at some unspecified time in the future."

'You and your shortcuts.'

'Tell me. Did the 253 internships come before or after the Ph.D in English?'

"Look, darling, I've recorded your favourite meal."

Woman emptying 'pending' work into bin as 5pm approaches on Friday.

"It goes so much faster with this."

A man irons one of his pant legs.

"Why don't we save both of us a lot of trouble and just use the math app on my smartphone?"

'I took a short cut.'

'Hello tech support? When I simultaneously press CTRL, TAB, ALT, NUM Lock, and Page Up keys, my fingers hurt.'

'Psst, I know a shortcut.'

Man fishing with rod with multiple lines.

"Actually, can you just tell me what he said?"

The 42nd annual City marathon (a guy in a car waiting for the start).

"You want some words of wisdom? Next time, take the elevator!"

Man Walking on a Maze's Walls.