Academic Probation Gifts

"So your grades are plummeting and you've stopped trying because you came to the realization that 'school is overrated'?"

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Ethics exam cheater.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Eternal Student.

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

"Meet the scribe"

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."