Academic Promotion Gifts

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Where your mind & battle are los

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

Ethics exam cheater.

Butterfly Woman

'Let's not go by the book.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

Killer Executive Suits.

In basket-case.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Others will fight for you