Academic Promotion Gifts

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Where your mind & battle are los

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

Ethics exam cheater.

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman

Killer Executive Suits.

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

In basket-case.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?