Job Probation Gifts

"Hold on, Brandon. Let your probationary period expire before you start microwaving fish."

'Tread carefully...it's her extended unfair dismissal qualification period.'

Focus"Your work has declined Tom. I really don't think that you are focused enough!"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Well, sure. We could hire some Temps, but they only live about ten days."

Working 9 to 5.

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

It's to stop you getting side-tracked.

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

worker rejects promotion to protect deniability

Man running from desk: 'I can't seem to get away from my work lately.'

"...Everyone you meet on the way up, you'll meet again on the way down."

"I got probation."

'I'm sorry, Bennett; but we gave the job to O'Toole. You have the know-how, but he had the know-who.'

'The bad news, Pomeroy, is tht we're giving your job to your secretary -- the good news is that she wants you to stay on as her secretary!'

'You can't cash your paychecks until your 6 month probation is satisfactorily over.'

"What time is it mentally?"

'He has a weak character. Notice how easily he lets his work distract him?'

'Sorry, but I don't think you're right for our company.'

'... Yeah. That just means we aren't much good.'

'As a matter of fact, I can offer you another career option.'

I'm trying to figure out what drives you... A new company car would be nice.

Workaholic

When Policy Fails, Try Thinking.

'I like the way you tick, Watkins!'

'Hard day at the office, dear?'

'Her pro bono impulses are raging out of control.'

'I'm prepared to offer you a raise... if you work hard!' 'I knew there'd be a catch!'

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

"It's his first day back at work."