Completing Probation Gifts

''I'm under house arrest for six months. It's a lot more fun if you're not already in jail for a bunch of other crimes.'

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'Irwin graduates from an online course today.'

"Well, sure. We could hire some Temps, but they only live about ten days."

'Dude, you can go for that new diving gear if you want, but if you ask me, I think it's a trap.'

'It took years of therapy before I became the Bluebird of Happiness.'

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

"I got probation."

Female chemotherapy warrior.

'I'm partially passing my Meteorology course.'

"So, what do you think about the web developer course you are taking?"

'You can't cash your paychecks until your 6 month probation is satisfactorily over.'

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

War and Death.

"I just finished my on-line food safety course!"

"Hold on, Brandon. Let your probationary period expire before you start microwaving fish."

'Tread carefully...it's her extended unfair dismissal qualification period.'

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

'I told you - they'll send me all these impressive looking diplomas when I pay off my student debt!'

'It was his last session.'

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

'I graduated 'magna cum loony'!'

Robojudge US patent pending

"She made her hat in rehab."

Musical request "Can you play 'Get me to my parole officer on time'?"

Twelve step program.

'It's an experimental form of house arrest. You're confined and fed massive doses of moral fiber.'

"I'm pleased to say you have passed the trial period and exceeded our expectations."

'Edgworth has come to terms with himself. He likes himself very much, but he can't stand anyone else.'

'Taking up knitting has been good therapy for you.'

"Since you've been here, you've caused nothing but mayhem and and trouble - please, please leave."

'Do you have any 'Congratulations on Your Presidential Pardon's' cards?'

'Yes, I'm willing to accept the job on a 90-day probational basis. Do I report to my former probation officer?'