Academic Of Absurdity Gifts

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

Crab with a clown face.

"Bigfoot"

Penguins flying to igloo birdhouse

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Barcode Dreams

Glance Exchange

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Optimist

Zoo: No Hunting.

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Nonsense Poem

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Who's next?"

"Nihilistic customer service"

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"Valet park only"

One way only.

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"It's my helper trout!"

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

Presidential surveillance ass!"

Robber on treadmill

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

Salvador Dali's cats.