Academic Of Absurdity Pillows

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

Glance Exchange

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Barcode Dreams

Crab with a clown face.

Optimist

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

Zoo: No Hunting.

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

"Nihilistic customer service"

Nonsense Poem

"Who's next?"

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"Valet park only"

One way only.

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

Presidential surveillance ass!"

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

"It's my helper trout!"

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'