Philosopher Of Absurdity Pillows

Some People Have Experienced Career-Related Suicidal Thoughts

Two Men Having Showdown On Small Hill-Top

"Why didn't you wear a mask?"

"The good news is it's brightening up..."

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

Barcode Dreams

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Penguins flying to igloo birdhouse

Optimist

"Now you can send it."

Zoo: No Hunting.

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

"There are no such things as problems, only opportunities."

Nonsense Poem

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

Presidential surveillance ass!"

Robber on treadmill

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

Salvador Dali's cats.

Operation.

Baseball.

UFO and snowman

The pop-culture critic's annual existential crisis."

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'