Academic Dean Gifts

"You must be the new dean who's going to put a feminist tilt on the department."

Dean's Office. Because you're looking for a fiction writing teacher, I assumed you'd look favorably upon a creatively padded resume.

"Even though it's an honorary degree, we have to bill you for 4 years of tuition."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Ethics exam cheater.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Flags

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Eternal Student.

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

Pretty Flowers

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"Meet the scribe"

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

"Is it that bad?"

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'