Academic Leader Gifts

'It would be lonely at the top if the phone didn't keep ringing.'

"Good boy."

Flags

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio?'

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"How can I be a lead learner without the technology needed to lead?"

K9 Literati

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

Bookshop: Unpopular Economics

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

Privacy - Surveillance

Skeptic: Critical Thinking, Facts, Debunking.

Joe's Bar: Not Responsible For Lost or Stolen Intellectual Property.

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

Newton's vacation

Gold versus Knowledge

"So I bought this doohickey that is very good with chaos."

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

'Even if you do, never admit that you know everything.'

"Why is there an ad for Jay-Z in the New England Journal of Pediatric Medicine?!"

SEMINAR CANCELLED: Feel free to doodle.

Vladimir Putin 101: Saying the Opposite of What You Mean

"Archaeologists discovered several enormous ancient cities buried under the jungles of Cambodia. That means the Khmer civilization was the largest empire on Earth from the 9th to the 12th centuries. That changes everything about our conception of the Middle Ages. What was your conception of the Middle Ages? Well... it was... well, knights, maidens, dragons... mostly dragons. And elves."

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

"How do we make sure the students' voices are heard, but get them to be quiet at the same time?"

Door sign states: Reincarnation studies Come again ... and again.

"Australia's covid vaccine roll out has experienced significant delivery coordination difficulties since its launch...why would that be."

Portrait of Sigmund Freud