Educational Leader Gifts

'My dad wants a word with you!'

'Yes, I received the review copy of 'Running a School is a Snap' that you sent. I found it to be a very useful book.'

'As a minimal step toward enabling our school's diverse software applications to interact and share data, I want you to organize a staff seminar on how to turn a computer on.'

'If he starts a sentence with 'Correct me if I'm wrong', don't!'

Controversial Boxes

"It's the superintendent's idea of alternative dispute resolution."

"But you've got to go to school today - you're the head-teacher!"

"As a principal, teachers will send unruly students to your office and you will send unruly teachers to my office."

A Puppet Named Juan

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Opportunities in Coronatimes

Lynching on social media

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Hate Platforms

"You're fired."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Ethics exam cheater.

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

Fear/Knowledge

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

Campaign for Plain English

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."