Absurdist Real Estate Lover T-Shirts

"Look. Living on the Green Belt makes our home worth a lot more!"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

An exaggeration of estate agents

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

Mouse real estate!

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

Estate Agents: Executive Homes

'Is the fire included?'

'Here's the 2 acres of beachfront property you bought - too bad it's only six inches wide.'

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have troubles with those in the back yard.'

Coming Soon- Trump Circle

Real estate.

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

'For sale: Igloo w/attached 2 snowmobile garage.'

Yes. This is definitely a house. The Housing Authority closes another tough case.

This is our proposal for your new housing development. We've chosen to call it The Meadows.

"Can I suggest a hoarder's house? It's perfect for a young family of rats to move in and share with the current owner..."

'When you described it as a remote house in the country...'

"It's fine - you know, it's a moon."

'It's okay, there's a six-figure carpeting allowance.'

An Englishman's home is his sand castle.

'That house is a fixer upper. Are you handy with a checkbook?'

"I figure I could get eighty grand for it now .... if someone wanted a treehouse."

'We did have a house in your bracket, but we sold it in 1932.'

A realtor shows a couple around a crazy golf course

'I hope buying this house won't sink us.'

Affordable Housing Estate Agents - 'It's affordable if you're rich...'

'In return for storing the nuclear waste, we get a big break on the mortgage.'

'And the 4th bedroom?'

Bank Owned