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'I always wanted a home on the range.'

A realtor shows a couple around a crazy golf course

"I figure I could get eighty grand for it now .... if someone wanted a treehouse."

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

"Look, son, real estate."

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

An exaggeration of estate agents

Mouse real estate!

Home Sweet Second Home.

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

"Well, it is a good property. The price is low because it is harder to negotiate due to its S-bend configuration."

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

'This is close enough.'

Dog Realtor

'Don't wait too long to decide. A house with a view like this can go at any minute....'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

"For sale £470,000 house included"