Absurd Excuse Analysts Pillows

'Where was I on the night of the 7th of August? I was home washing my hair.'

Love at First Sight

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

Barcode Dreams

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

'My dog ate my computer.'

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

My department was abducted by aliens so there is no data between January and April.

'If we can't come up with better ideas, at least we should have better excuses.'

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

'Homework done only $1.00' 'Homework eaten only $0.50'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

"Wag your tail just once when I come home. You miserable dog!"

"Once again one of your "I'm late because I was abducted and operated on by aliens" excuses?"

'I promoted Wetherby because he always comes up with better excuses.'

'Would you believe, I didn't get my homework done because of PMS?'

"Breakfast will be a little late. Our computer's down."

"Sorry! Traffic was awful and also I left really late."

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

'The dog ate the flash drive with my homework on it...but I hope to get it back real soon!'

'Not as easy as it looks?"

"I didn't feel any 'earthquake'."

"I'm sorry, Tom... but you don't Chronic Fatigue Syndrome if it only when you're going to see your inlaws."

How to deal with weeds

"...according to my records Tomkins, this is your grandmother's seventh funeral."

"I never have a good excuse to be late: The teacher knows my dad wakes me up at dawn..."

"But....but....isn't that a puff of cloud I see approaching?"

Beware homework eating dog