Abstract Expressionism T-Shirts

"Some consider me the Pollock of calculus."

"She said it has a blistering fervency that reminds her of a slide."

The Art Critics

"And so one could say that my work examines art as an expression of objecthood where the object is neither the art nor the object but rather the practice of intentionality."

"Jackson, will you please stop doodling when you're on the phone?"

Paul Klee

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

The devil you know and his plus one

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

"Nuts to you, too."

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

"He wasn't even early - he was on his way home from a party!"

"Feel better, dear?"

The Elephant in the Womb

What every man thinks to himself when he puts on a pink shirt.

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

"Dogs are men."

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

'An aerosol? Are you sure you've thought this through?'

'Kafka! Kandinsky! Kokoschka!'

A great new year (for cartoonists).

Sharp Eyes

Mime father in the delivery room.

Metropolitan Art Center current exhibit: Father of the Finger-In-Your-Eye School of Modern Art.

"If that were a Jasper Johns, dear, we could sell it for three million dollars."

"I don't dare take him near the De Kooning exhibit!"

Who are you?

"If you want my opinion you're damned if you do and damned if you don't."

'Sometimes, I'm like... wow! And then, I'm like... whoa! And then, I'm like... damn!'

'Dad, when you say life's a bowl of cherries, what's a cherry?'

"Can you just once get to the damn point without the usual embellishments?"

'I'm afraid, 'in a while crocodile' was the incorrect answer.'