Abstract Connoisseur Gifts

Jackson Pollock as a child

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.

"He's an abstract artist."

He's the first Master Sculptor since the Renaissance also trained as a Mohel.

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"It's called 'Sold'."

S**t Threw a Goose

'I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

'Don't know much about art but I know what I like.'

Moliere

"Who's the artist?"

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Bleak House

Charles Dickens.

Masterpiece?

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

A Sculptor chiselling out 'The Invisible Man' from a block of stone.

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

"But is it..?"

Man reading the title of an all white painting at an art gallery.

"An eight year old could do this. . .!!"

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark