Ab Connoisseur Gifts

"Nice abs!"

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Jackson Pollock as a child

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

Moliere

"The big money doesn't seem to be in Pretzels anymore."

Charles Dickens.

Bleak House

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

Creative department ?

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

A railway station covered in advertising.

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

"$68,000? You said that deceptive ad would cost me $23,000."

'I want a campaign that will fol some of the people some of the time and all of the people all of the time.'

'Must...find...something...intelligent..!'

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

"As you know our marketing budget is small. We need to make a really bad commercial and hope it goes viral!"

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

'Your baseball card has more value than you do.'

Sergei Rachmaninov

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

"Cholesterol medicine commercial, Take 3. This time, try to sound less horrified when you say, 'May cause heart to explode through ears'."