Abolitionist Enthusiast Gifts

John Quincy Adams

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

Optimist

Nails pinning down the hammer that usually strikes them.

'Let's see what else will explode in the microwave!'

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

"Time for bed, guys."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

'Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!'

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

'Good grief! Aren't you guys extinct yet?'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

'He was a barman before he got into the demolition game.'

'Oh, I'm okay, I guess - I just thought enlightenment would be more FUN than this.'

OM, SWEET OM

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

Truth

Demonization: Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse.

'See what happens when meditation isn't supervised?'

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

I am one with stupid.

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'