Abductions Gifts

'If you can hear this you have been abducted.'

Alien Assumption

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

'Ahhh...'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"They're so adorable at that age!"

"You left this on our ship."

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

Foster failure

Raised by Dogs

"He's such a fussy eater."

Sweep the board.

"Sarah has two mommies and both of them are good cooks."

'I demand a DNA test.'

"Come on, we've thought of 492 names surely we can get one more"

"Adopted? It's cute how you think we would've picked you."

'I think it's about time we tell him he's adopted.'

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

"You're supposed to grow a lot of little ones."

'Hey Kiddo, I think we'll have to stop to change your nappy...'

"They look so young and helpless."

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

"That’s ridiculous! What makes you think you were adopted?"

"Of course you like like your father and me. What did you expect?"

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

'I think babies grow in a mommy's tummy and adopted babies grow in a mommy's heart.'

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

'It's just like any other doll except this one needs hours of therapy to work normally.'