Zoom Zoom Executive Gifts

"I'm on the road so much -- this was inevitable."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Leadership in the Covid-19 Era

"It has come to my attention that some work-from-home employees aren't maintaining company standards."

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

Covid and Restarting School

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'Our union contract keeps us from cutting salaries, but nothing prevents us from charging for parking.'

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

"Go ahead—unmute yourself."

"Is there a way to disable Narcissus' self-view?"

Heloise's Helpful Hints for Homebound

Downsizing.

Oh no ... Outsourcing

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

"I have the profit sharing figures. You owe the company �2,367.25."

"Why does it always have to represent something?"

"5...4...3...2..."

'And this is where we all suddenly started getting bad vibes.'

'After months of analysing, we found out how to stop your downgoing profits: just find more customers who want to buy your products.'

"You're on mute."

'No wonder we're losing money! --This organizational chart is upside down!'

'The incorporation of the name of Cit-Bolon-Turn the God of Healing into your logo will resonate with everyone who has even the faintest knowledge of Mayan religious nomenclature!'