Zoom Call Survivor Pillows

Evolution of Zoom

"Heading back to the office after a year of daily zoom meetings."

Working from Home

“Someone is not muted. I'm still hearing ambient noise. Please mute your device.”

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"Sorry I'm late, boss...I forgot about today's video meeting!"

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

"Sir, can I interest you in a luxury coffin?"

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

"To hear the sounds of the seas press 1, for all other options, or, to speak with a customer advisor, please press 2."

'A telemarketing call for you, Sir.'

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

"I don't know about you guys, but I sure miss the dog park."

"Remote teaching isn't good for torturing a substitute. For that you need a live audience."

"Working" from home

Welcome Back Everybody!

"In the time I’ve been on hold with this collection agency, my debt has been bought and sold to another collection agency!"

'And just FYI, I was a caterpillar when you first put me on hold!'

"Your car warranty is about to expire..."

'You've stayed on hold for 20 minutes? Oh, dear! You'd better make an appointment with Dr. Willems to work on your self-esteem.'

March of the Zoombies.

"If you would like to listen to music while you are on hold press 1, If you would like some quiet time to work out how much this call is costing press 2, if...."

And have you been coping with lockdown?

"Your meeting's over. You can relax you zoom face now."

Education Payroll: 'We're trying to resolve your salary problem or, at the very east, put you on hold for th rest of the day.'

"Your ten o'clock cancelled. He doesn't like the way his skin gets all wrinkly."

"If you are angry at being kept on hold, press 1, if you are furious press 2, if you are apoplectic with rage ..."

I'm comfort breaking my ass off here!

"Since this whole COVID thing I've had to adjust my practice."

Ten Months Later

"To Zoom or not to Zoom. That is the question."

"Woopsee! Wrong button. And after you got through all those menus, too! Too bad. Good luck next time! hahaha!"

'This call may be monitored for training purposes, and you'll understand why when the tech can't answer your questions.'