Teleconference Survivor Pillows

I'm comfort breaking my ass off here!

"Dad's got a promotion. How can now mute middle management."

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"Sorry I'm late, boss...I forgot about today's video meeting!"

'From here I can monitor world stocks, or attend overseas teleconferences, unfortunately I can't get out though because the door's stuck.'

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

Thank you for not making faces during teleconferences with the boss.

"Hey Dolly, get back here!"

"I meant to let Mr. Goldman know I’d be happy to work on Saturday, but I accidentally typed, ‘I hope your house is infested by termites.’"

"To hear the sounds of the seas press 1, for all other options, or, to speak with a customer advisor, please press 2."

Telework Pants

'Whose idea was it to teleconference our staff meetings?'

"Could you continue to work from home? We're enjoying not having you in the office."

"Working" from home

"Heading back to the office after a year of daily zoom meetings."

"Your car warranty is about to expire..."

'Hurry up, coach. Pick one.. you're late for the press conference.'

'You've stayed on hold for 20 minutes? Oh, dear! You'd better make an appointment with Dr. Willems to work on your self-esteem.'

"Your meeting's over. You can relax you zoom face now."

Education Payroll: 'We're trying to resolve your salary problem or, at the very east, put you on hold for th rest of the day.'

"Your ten o'clock cancelled. He doesn't like the way his skin gets all wrinkly."

Ten Months Later

Evolution of Zoom

"Your call may be monitored to give us all a laugh . . . please enter your 23 digit telephone banking code followed by your 14 digit account no and your 24 digit security code. . ."

"Zoomed for five hours and my smile seized up."

STRIP Hambone: Suicidal over a computer error

Team member in face masks cannot be heard by older boss in meeting.

'Excuse me, would you like some tips on video marketing?'

Zoom Call Nightmares

'Yes I'll hold - but only to Greensleeves.'

"Everything I say goes straight to voice mail."