Phone Conversation Survivor Pillows

Education Payroll: 'We're trying to resolve your salary problem or, at the very east, put you on hold for th rest of the day.'

What price beauty?

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

Time management office worker

'I'm sorry, Mr. President, he can't come to the phone right now...he's doing that crazy hand jive.'

"Will this job involve multiple choice, true and false, or essay questions?"

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

"They're out to get me... I keep getting phone calls that say 'spam risk'."

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

"The originator of the office birthday party."

'While on hold, press #1 for classical music. Press #2 for rock music. Press #3 for country music. Press #4 for...'

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

"A High-Pain Job? Yes, I believe we have that."

"Where do you see yourself after 5 beers?"

"Can you characterize yourself in five words."

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

"To hear the sounds of the seas press 1, for all other options, or, to speak with a customer advisor, please press 2."

I have an opening for someone like you. It's called a door.

"So where do you see yourself in 5 years apart from a thousand miles from this f****** s**thole?"

Let's talk about the weather.

Why are you here?

"Can you hold a moment? I've asked you before not to donate my organs till after I'm dead."

Dadonomics

"... Or, if you're tired of listening to all of these automated options and would like to cancel your call, press 9."

'Have you noticed it, too?'

"Heading back to the office after a year of daily zoom meetings."

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

"The aliens that control my brain really want me to get this job."

"I hope you don't think that music while I waited soothed me."

It was the harshest job interviews Peter had ever attended...

"In the time I’ve been on hold with this collection agency, my debt has been bought and sold to another collection agency!"