Zoological Ponderer Gifts

Yeah, maybe so, but you're not higher up on the food chain. (Published originally on April 28, 2009.)

Polly txt speak

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"Sign my yearbook?"

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

Farm Humor.

The Worm Charmer

"The hyenas started it."

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

'Everybody has to change to compete.'

God's Subcontractors

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

'I don't know about you. But I'm eating my fill before I drag this carcass to the 'king of the beasts'.'

"No wonder they've spotted us! Tail down Fred, tail down!"

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"He didn't do anything, Gregory. This is a zoo"

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"I'm an evolution denier. There's no way those people come from us."

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

Funky Facts: Monkeys.