Zookeeper Humorist Gifts

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

City Zoo: Day Care

Seagiraffes

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

A mother and baby elephant

"Look, a bug!"

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

"Be kind"

"This never happened."

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Scuba cow"

"Too much concealer?"

"We’re a lending aquarium."

'I am so proud: My kids are finally fighting all the time!'

Litter Tray Training

'Jurassic Pork.'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

Hats and Food

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

Sign in Lion Enclosure: 'Please Don't Eat the People.'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.