Ziplining Gifts

To help emphasize good oral hygeine inkids, Dr. Remford installed a dental floss zipline in his office.

Dinner is Served.

'Why couldn't your father have a normal midlife crisis, buy a convertible, or even have an affair with some young bimbo?'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

Cat chases mouse across a Zeppelin.

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

2 + 2 = 4. 2 x 2 = 4. Oh, I get it! It's a Zen thing!

Home Sweet Sign

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

Working from OM.

'Oh, the amenity!'

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

Zen Litter Box

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

'Frankly I'm all meditated out.'

"You’ll get nothingness and like it."

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

Great. What do I get the man who already HAS nothing? It's a birthday party.

'He installed it to counter the ease with which people are granted access into his office.'

'Mr Gottlieb recently read one of those books on Japanese management techniques.'

Ignorance and Bliss

"That's just in case we need to go in again."

It's a new year, little buddy. What are you going to do to make the most of it? Throw out the old to make room for the new. Very deep, little buddy. I'm a deep person. If the big-screen tv I got on Black Friday is a whole month old, I'm Zen enough to just breathe ... and let it go, on eBay. Want to hear my Zen mantra? Luckily, I stopped listening 30 seconds ago.

He's been like that for hours - I think he's binge meditating.

'There's got to be more to the Eightfold Path than 'don't worry, be happy.''

I can't decide if your recurring dream about the Hindenburg indicates a preoccupation with death or phallic symbols. I was hoping it just indicted a preoccupation with hydrogen-filled zeppelins.