Zip Lining Gifts

"Wow! Zip line faster than vine!"

Oh (cursing symbols)! The dog has a zip line!

101 uses of a dead cat: zip line.

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

Christmas Tree

National Everything Awareness Day

Man at desk has a desk tray labeled "In one ear,' and another labeled "Out the other."

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

Mark Anthony on Zoom.

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

Home Sweet Sign

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

"You're on mute."

"The butter-poached lobster with melted leeks and horseradish creme fraiche...you want that in a wrap?"

The New Business Power Suit

Department of Pure Speculation.

'He installed it to counter the ease with which people are granted access into his office.'

'I spent my bonus on changing my spots.'

Fitted Sheet:1/Human:0

To help emphasize good oral hygeine inkids, Dr. Remford installed a dental floss zipline in his office.

"That's just in case we need to go in again."

"Half-dressed Covid pizza special."

'Listen, I'm flattered, but it's safer for you if we just stay friends...'

'Why couldn't your father have a normal midlife crisis, buy a convertible, or even have an affair with some young bimbo?'

"Nothin' like Olympic athletes to remind us all that a year of sporadic Zoom workouts ain't quite the achievement we thought it was."

"And remember, team, working from home shouldn't be seen as an excuse for allowing standards to drop."

"I can't take the zoom lifestyle for one more minute!"

The perils of working from home

What do you like most about presents?

'Loose zips cause trips, Robert.'

'It's just a precaution, there were lots of fiddley bits left over at the end of the operation.'

You said you wanted privacy - Realty.

"I didn't get the job. They hated my Zoom background."

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas!

"Marcel!! You're on mute!!"