Zippers Gifts

'Loose zips cause trips, Robert.'

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

A mother and baby elephant

"It has come to my attention that some work-from-home employees aren't maintaining company standards."

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

Too much monkey business...

Zoo. Diet Clinic. Hey everybody --- There's no longer an 800-pound gorilla in the room!

Zoo Inc. Management Structure

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

Heloise's Helpful Hints for Homebound

Giraffe Selfie

City Zoo. They call us "anteaters" --- talk about stereotyping!

Zoo. It's wednesday again --- time to wash the camels. I hate "hump" day. (Published originally on July 20, 2005).

Wild Cow.

Zumma Cum Laude

"Upper right seven buccal filling.. Upper left.. "

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

'Have I seen your brother in here? I don't know, what does he look like?'

Bat

"The butter-poached lobster with melted leeks and horseradish creme fraiche...you want that in a wrap?"

'I know they look geeky - but I believe lat good parenting should always come before style.'

5 Second Rule!

'Honey, I would love to go out with you, but I feel like an idiot at all your friends' parties. The conversations are always way above my head.'

Two cleaners at the zoo. They are sheltering under a giraffe to get out of the rain.

"Yes, I know you have a contract with the zoo, doctor. . . but it's with the zoo staff, not with the animals!"

'If you're going to play with the elephant, please take her upstairs.'

"There's talk of a merger with London Zoo."

Lion Dreams

Zookeeper who looks after the elephants has equally large wife.

"I think the zoo is in financial trouble: the keepers have replaced all the 'do not feed the animals' signs by 'please do feed the animals'..."

"Says here that 50 baboons escaped from the Paris Zoo! I think this explains the Nutella riots!"

NEW FALL LINEUP

'Man in suit wears tie in shape of a pencil.'