Zen Cat Herder Gifts

Cat Yoga

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

Dog yoga

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

'New Age Dog Park' Dogs commune with Nature.

"Yup! Its time to feed the cattle."

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

Why cat yoga classes don't work

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

"I majored in sheep with a minor in cat herding."

Mind them while I go shopping and I'll give you 50 bucks extra!

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

'Plastic bags, dogs, dogs behind gates, strange smells, pigs, strange noises...heck! It would be quicker to tell you what doesn't spook me!'

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

"God, I hate cows."

"Shepherd Herder Hunter Thinker"

Cowboy to round up cows on the moon.

'I'm on my break right now -- can you come back next February?'

"You're a bully."

'I thought you were getting alternative therapy today...'

Meditation for dogs

'My neighbor hates to fix fence...'

"Hey! Who's this little guy?"

Due to a slight hearing problem, history does not remember Doug and Gary, chicken herders of Bethlehem.

"My cat is like your god. Except people don't kill in her name. You don't need to wait until you die to meet her. And she's real."

"I'm sorry, doctor. The cat must have escaped again."

'Your five years experience herding cats is very impressive.'

Yoga Cow

A goat-herder notices Satan trying to fit in with a herd of goats and sends him off

'Had there been no horses.'

Feng Shui Consultants

Call of the domesticated.