Zany Advice Seeker Gifts

"Ask her where she keeps the mailbox key and the nutmeg."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

"We can work up to antidepressants, but for now I want to start you on eating a whole jar of cocktail olives over the kitchen sink."

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

Recruitment Agency - Tips for getting that dream job.

COVID tips from Wild Animals

"A word to the wise..or is it a word from the wise? I always get it mixed up."

'I just had to stop by and thank you for all the advice...'

"What the hell do you mean you don't think it's mine?!"

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

Law office sign: "Defending the citizen's entitlement to folly since 1935"

'...Sure, I can tell you how to prevent getting old...You can lie about your age...You can smoke...And you can drive drunk...'

"Armstrong, I'm not qualified to give you dating advice. When it comes to that stuff, I'm the worst."

"Do not bury yourself alive if allergic to burying yourself alive."

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

'There's a NAGGING blog?'

'I'm screwed...'

'I've discovered that the bar setting works better than the couch.'

'That's the best advice you got? There's no business like show business?'