Yuletide Investigator Gifts

'HA! Just as I thought! These are DAD'S fingerprints, not SANTA'S.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

Hoo Hoo Hoo Merry Christmas!

Eskimo putting fake snow on his Christmas tree

"I'm the designated driver."

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

"I'm sorry, Inspector Lestrade, but for reasons which I confess are sentimental, I feel I must, just this once, decline my services to Scotland Yard."

'The shepherds couldn't make it!'

Murdered man spells out his murderer in alphabet soup.

"Just answer the question, sir. Is it true that you're not planning to watch 'It's a Wonderful Life' this holiday season?"

"Hundreds of looted Christmas gifts. . . A missing reindeer. . . does that ring a bell, Mr. Rudolph?"

'Just move along...Nothing core to see here.'

'I'm facing unemployment! The world is running out of nice kids!'

'... And I even made turpentine sauce.'

"If Santa knows when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake...is he with the CIA?"

Undercover Santa

"There are never sleigh tracks on our roof, or soot tracks on our carpet. Maybe you're just fake news?"

'I did some investigating. The guy is an actor.'

"I got the grant! I'm researching whether or not money can buy happiness."

"Mr Claus, you're suspected of breaking into 987356410239 houses right through the chimney within one single night!"

'Where were you on the night of the 24th December?'

Santa and Chums

'Do you mean 'naughty or nice' in the traditional sense, or the politically correct sense?'

"He's hoping his nose can be used in a cake!"

"He's very busy. One 'Good King Wenceslas', and then about you go."

"And you can download a further selection of our songs at www.carolsingers.com..."

'Santa Claus really does exist! I just found his website.'

"Bearing in mind that Santa has fact checkers, have you been a good little boy?"

BIG Christmas tree

'You're Steve from menswear. I read it on wikileaks.'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack's Christmas Story

On the twelth day of Christmas...