Festive Sleuths Gifts

"I only want one thing for Christmas. Straighten out Congress."

"I'm sorry, Inspector Lestrade, but for reasons which I confess are sentimental, I feel I must, just this once, decline my services to Scotland Yard."

'A 1982 bottle of KMart Beaujolais Nouveau? You shouldn't have, really. I mean you really, really shouldn't have...really.'

'My Christmas bonus.'

"Hundreds of looted Christmas gifts. . . A missing reindeer. . . does that ring a bell, Mr. Rudolph?"

"If Santa knows when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake...is he with the CIA?"

Undercover Santa

'OK, it's a deal: I'll get you a Christmas Turkey if you get me a big Salmon...'

Trainspotter spotting: 'Gosh! A type 406 with original thermos.'

Extreme Carolling

"I'm afraid we don't have anything on the books that offers the 364 days off a year that you're looking for."

"There are never sleigh tracks on our roof, or soot tracks on our carpet. Maybe you're just fake news?"

Hiding in a cupboard for a few hours helped Tom survive the festive season.

Snowman Murder

"Well, of course my DNA was found at the scene, it's Christmas Eve!"

'I'm afraid I can't find anything that matches your current salary of sixty million cookies, and twenty thousand gallons of milk.'

'Let's be careful this morning, the patient's wife informed me that he broke a chain-letter recently.'

"We need the naughty/nice list for all holidays."

"What were those songs you were singing?"

'we're sorry son - Father Christmas failed his CRB check.'

'If you're not happy with the cobwebs we can re-arrange them of course'.

'Santa Claus really does exist! I just found his website.'

"Whoa! Looks like a worker's comp thing, Carl."

A man peeping through keyholes ends up with a keyhole imprint on his face.

Christmas Burnout.

Easter 2021

'I'm sorry, but I can't offer you the job of 'Santa's little helper'.'

Missing Santa

Time to get up, Santa!