Youtube Critic Gifts

Hate Platforms

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Reading my Critics

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

Difference of Opinion

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

Can't Touch This

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

The new Physics

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"About the vaccine, I read online that it was so Bill Gates could inject us with CHIPS!"

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'