Youth Supporter Gifts

'I'm so fat and unattractive... ...I'll never have a boyfriend.'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"What I miss during school holidays is not going out on strike every Friday."

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

'I'm the new kid on the team. Where's my signing bonus?'

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

'I'm Stacey, whose mother is the proud parent of an honor student.'

'My goldfish died. I over-watered him.'

Proud Mum.

"We don't make cookies anymore - I'm selling Girl Scout apps."

"It's been a tough season, and you tried your hardest, son. But you're being traded."

Alcohol and Tobacco Danger

Bangtan boys BTS caricature

'I'm guessing it'll have to be by text.'

'Guys! Everyone yelling ‘What the hell' in unison is not my idea of team spirit!'

"Okay everyone come and get your helmets and pads - players' sizes on the left, parents' on the right."

"I teach ... to impact a life."

The Minor Issue

Girl to mother: 'Don't call me a teenager. From now on, I want to be referred to as a pre-adult.'

Courting The Youth Vote

'If you finish your first year of teaching and haven't destroyed the innate curiosity of your young students, you are a successful teacher.'

'I just think everyone in the family should have the same rights and privileges.'

'We call it 'Fred'. He's our best penalty kicker.'

'Don't get me wrong, I love children. I'm just not ready to hire them.'

"There aren't many jobs for teenagers these days."

Gen Z

'If youth is so important why didn't god give the ten commandments to someone younger?'

"My mom said I can't come here anymore." "What? Why not, Billy?" "She said she sends me here to get hot chocolate, not to get bad relationship advice." "What 'bad' advice? All my advice is solid gold." "You told me to call the IRS with an anonymous tip about Andrea Wheaton's father avoiding taxes, so next time he tells her I'm a bad influence he'll look like a hypocrite." "That didn't work?"

I'd rather be playing video games but I can't quit Little League...

"Let's hope on this visit there are no runs, no hits, no errors."