Youth Sports Organizer Gifts

"Okay, Max, your dad is the commissioner, you're at first base. Harry, your parents donated 5 grand to fix the snack bar, you're at shortstop. . ."

Football Fans

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"I AM at my usual position."

The trauma of losing.

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

'OK, now let's switch places.'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

"Viola player coming through!"

Runt! You'll never make the team. We'll see! You can't even tie your shoelace! Great technique!

"Look, I know the other team is taller than we are...but I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed."

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

'Nice Header, Lauren!'

The young Michael Phelps: 'Just another four laps and I'll get out!'

'We would deliver if we could cross the street.'

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

"I've never been into the other team's end... what's it like?"

'...And remember' It's not whether your dads win or lose the fight in the stands. It's how you play the game.'

'Young players have a tendency to forget fundamentals over the winter.'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

'I'm the new kid on the team. Where's my signing bonus?'

'Youth Baseball Clinic: How To Develop A Deep-Rooted Hatred Of The Media.'

'We're doing everything we can to police ourselves on steroids.'

'The pastor is the one who tells all the kids to be quiet and sit down.'

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

"Would you knowingly cheat to be better at something just to make millions of dollars? Well would you? Son? ... Son?"

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."