Youth Questers Gifts

"Have you ever been young before?"

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Garden.

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

"If nothing else, school has prepared me for a lifetime of backpacking."

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

Fossil hunting

"Kids."

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

"Can you give me something that will send me back to 1969?"

Have you heard that time is not a constant, Randy? Of course, little buddy It's called "time dilation." Time moves slower for objects in motion than it does for objects that sit still. I'm a prime example. I haven't aged a day in decades. I still have rippling muscles, a smooth pelt, glistening teeth, twinkling eyes, a raging libido, and the boundless confidence of youth ... all because I'm always on the move. I'm writing a study on it for the Journal of Temporal Hotness. I've been meaning to as

"I've looked at their viewer profiles and if we watch this channel we'll be 20 years younger."

"This is it? No video?"

Kid in pedal police car pulling over a kid on a trike

"Spring Chicken"

Student to kid: 'School first, then Mount Everest.'

"I do feel like my old self, but I want to feel like my young self!"

"I want someone I can grow old and have plastic surgery with."

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

Two men in war bonnets sit in front of a giant skull

'Take ten years off the top.'

Girl asking her little cousin what he would like for his birthday

"I can check again, but I'm pretty sure no one has handed in your lost youth."

"Want to know how we're able to relate to our grandchildren? Ronald, hit me with a sick beat..."

I love this age: Old enough to know better, young enough to get away with it. Ketchup.

"How would I know what 'the meaning of life' is...? I was hoping you were mountain rescue!"