Young Questioner Gifts

Garden.

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"So, what do you do for play?"

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

Do Guns Kill?

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

Ostrich Curoisities

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

When it comes to texting, she's all thumbs.'

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

Why can't you use the brains God gave you? Oh, shoot, I think this is Bob's.

'Mom, am I store-bought or homemade?'

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

"What's it all about?"

'Dad, tell me again what life's about.'

Upside down question mark hanging from fishing line.

'I looked, and the Ten Commandments don't say ANYTHING about running with scissors!'

'We never should have brought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious and arbitrary.'

God hounded by the media.

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

'Where are all these people who lived happily ever after?'

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

'I'm Timmy Jones of the 'Young Republicans'. I'm collecting to run for president in 2028, and my goal is to be another Ronald Regan!'