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Treat at the Colinderies.

The wonderful world of cheese.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

To do before Saturday...

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Wendy likes horses...and she is a keen cook.

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

Odysseus returns to the Laundromat

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

"It's the Chef Surprise."

'Frank, it's water.'

The four basic food groups: Dry, Moist, Biscuit, Bone.

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

A single man can be seen through the front window of the "ME Only Restaurant".

"Well, I don't care if it is some kind of fancy-schmancy restaurant...if I want ketchup, I'm gonna get ketchup!"

Nick's Greek Restaurant: Special - Nick's own translation of the Odyssey

Survival of the Foodiest

'My doctor said I'm digging my own grave with a spoon and fork. It'll take longer if I use only a fork.'

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

'Does this restaurant allow substitutions?'

'I'll leave it entirely to you...as long as it's a red...for exactly $20...from Napa...made from Merlot...2006 vintage...'

No Flash Photography of Meals

"Best served at street temperature, delicious served with dustbin chipsor gutter squashed, half eaten kebab..."

"I don't know about your oil, but the goulash you're cooking in your crankcase looks done."

"Excuse me for a moment. I have to go and refinance this dinner bill."

"The best hot dogs in the city should be hard to get."

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

"I'm so hungry , I could eat a man." Alison's appetite was legendary.