Aspiring Epicure T-Shirts

To do before Saturday...

The wonderful world of cheese.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

The Origins of Everything

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Wendy likes horses...and she is a keen cook.

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

"It's the Chef Surprise."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

The four basic food groups: Dry, Moist, Biscuit, Bone.

The only time you are actually too old to follow your dreams.

A single man can be seen through the front window of the "ME Only Restaurant".

"Well, I don't care if it is some kind of fancy-schmancy restaurant...if I want ketchup, I'm gonna get ketchup!"

Survival of the Foodiest

Nick's Greek Restaurant: Special - Nick's own translation of the Odyssey

'My doctor said I'm digging my own grave with a spoon and fork. It'll take longer if I use only a fork.'

In search of the American dream...

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

'Where do I keep my bucket lists? Right there, in my bucket...'

"Turn again Whittington!"

'Does this restaurant allow substitutions?'

'I'll leave it entirely to you...as long as it's a red...for exactly $20...from Napa...made from Merlot...2006 vintage...'

"Not just a wheel, Trog, but a wheel of aged Parmigiano Reggiano!"

"Best served at street temperature, delicious served with dustbin chipsor gutter squashed, half eaten kebab..."

'Maybe you don't even need the life jacket.'

'C'mon, Lucy...we need to go out on a big, fun adventure...Which part of 'big fun adventure' don't you understand?'

Family 'Bored' Games

Treat at the Colinderies.

"I don't know about your oil, but the goulash you're cooking in your crankcase looks done."