Quirky Epicure T-Shirts

"Best served at street temperature, delicious served with dustbin chipsor gutter squashed, half eaten kebab..."

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

The wonderful world of cheese.

To do before Saturday...

The Origins of Everything

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Wendy likes horses...and she is a keen cook.

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"Don't hold back on the toad legs now - I'm through with Nouvelle Cuisine!"

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

"It's the Chef Surprise."

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

'Frank, it's water.'

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

The four basic food groups: Dry, Moist, Biscuit, Bone.

A single man can be seen through the front window of the "ME Only Restaurant".

"Well, I don't care if it is some kind of fancy-schmancy restaurant...if I want ketchup, I'm gonna get ketchup!"

'My doctor said I'm digging my own grave with a spoon and fork. It'll take longer if I use only a fork.'

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

'I'll leave it entirely to you...as long as it's a red...for exactly $20...from Napa...made from Merlot...2006 vintage...'

"Not just a wheel, Trog, but a wheel of aged Parmigiano Reggiano!"

Treat at the Colinderies.

"I don't know about your oil, but the goulash you're cooking in your crankcase looks done."

"Excuse me for a moment. I have to go and refinance this dinner bill."

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."