Young Confessors Gifts

'Everything is confidential. We don't need to do scout's honor.'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

A boy acting suspiciously

True confessions.

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

'Someday I'm going to tell you all of the things I've done right.'

The Boy Who Wanted To Be A Lawyer - "Father Desmond, we need an exorcism."

Pubertry

"You don't have to worry about using up your minutes."

"The good news is, the children in the district have strong writing skills. The bad news is, we have sustained a letter-writing campaign from the third grade."

"Thank you. Now we'd like to do our big hit -- I Can't Wait to be 16'."

'That's all for tonight, God. Stay tuned.'

'...But I confessed to Oprah...isn't that in there?'

"We always see a spike after April 15th."

'Admit it, Crawford, this fish was already dead when you caught it!'

'I'm confused. Is this a romance novel or a confession about how much you like boxes and warm places to nap?'

"Spaghetti made from squash? Sounds like fake news."

"Does God have his own Web site so I could e-mail my prayers to him?"

'Were the lemons grown locally?'

"If anyone asks, we never had this conversation."

"I'm the writer, executive producer, and star of my fibs."

"Heard any good confessions lately..?"

Agency Honesty Day: 'I have no idea what I'm doing.'

"Dad, I made a mistake. A big mistake."

'Thank you for not mentioning me by name.'

'I couldn't put it down.'

'Yes, I robbed the bank -- but I had the best of intentions.'

"Big brother, can you lend me $20? But only give me $10."

"I'll tell you what this election is about. It's about homework and pitiful allowances, and having to clean your room. It's also about candy, and ice cream, and staying up late."

'The disdainful glances, the withering stares... I'm not tough enough to live with Siamese cats!'

"So you don't know who Carolina is?"

'If the teachers can have a union, why can't we kids form our own union.'

'Psst - we're looking for material that's totally inappropriate for our age. Can you help us out?'