Yoga Class Rebel Gifts

"Like heck I'm doing downward dog."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"Do you guys serve beer?"

Thinks he's too cool for school.

'What are the other nonconformists wearing this year?'

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

Computer Class.

"Remember, ladies, if you are doing this right you shouldn't be able to do it."

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

"I'm thinking of giving up yoga! Yesterday my lotus position turned into a cauliflower!"

Yoga Sequence to Avoid

Banana Yoga

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

Yoga.

"You must now empty the Kitty Litter of your mind."

"Take. Your. Time!"

Transcendental Litigation

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

'Was that a spiritual insight, or just clumsiness?'

'At least you won't have to worry about the rising costs of a college education.'

'You got everyfink Bruv? Stink bombs, pea shooter, dead frogs . . .'

Artist is drawing a mug instead of the models.

"I can take you to my yoga instructor, how about that...?"

Tangled facing dog...

'Going to school is NOT an abusive relationship!'

Fitness Guru

"I feel so much more relaxed since I punched out my yoga instructor!"

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

'Phew! What a day! I almost lost my aura of supreme tranquility.'

"Grandma, this is now how some schools say obey the rules."

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

"MMPHH. . . I said I don't think I'm built for yoga!"