Rule-bending Yogi Gifts

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

My God, I need to fart.

Yoga classes door.

"How long were you in that headstand?"

Transcendental Litigation

'When you grounded me to my room, you said no TV or computer. You never said I couldn't build my own bike.'

"Let 'em try to regulate this!"

"I'm not fishing, I'm hunting."

"Complaining empowers us."

"The bad news is my doctor limited me to one glass of wine per day. The good news is I get to pick the glass."

'The Only Time it's Okay for a Man to Think about Nothing.'

"Remember, ladies, if you're doing this right, you shouldn't be able to do it."

"Like heck I'm doing downward dog."

'Well, you're right, you're not touching the ball with your hands, so the Ref can't penalize you...'

Yogi Comedy: A yogi comedian tells a yoga joke. '...is this thing aum?'

I love Yoga

"I'm really having trouble dealing with the global pandemic,economic collapse and cancellation of my weekly yoga class."

The Skullsmashers gang was known for was cruel and inhuman initiation rituals.

Cat Yoga

Melting Heart Pose

'You didn't really think you'd get away with this, did you?'

Meditating on Cacti

Celebrity Yoga.

No Loitering.

In the name of the natural law

'It's an open book test...and I've got the teacher's book!'

Rabbit Costume

"I say, if you're wearing yoga pants, it counts as a yoga pose.

Yoga studio: In 234 and Out 234.

Today: Hot Yoga.

Meditation + Medication

'I'm sorry you got disqualified from the marathon dear.' 'That's OK. I just wish they clearly stated the rules to you before you entered...that way nobody ends up making a fool of themselves.'

"All right, guys - Meditate till you feel the burn!"