Stress-defying Yogi Gifts

Zen And The Art Of Bankruptcy

"Do you guys serve beer?"

My God, I need to fart.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind and cashflow."

'Do you really think shoulder-to-wheel and nose-to-grindstone are valid yoga positions?'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

"How long were you in that headstand?"

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

"Yeah, your inner child called. They want a nap, a juice box, and a restraining order." "Ruining whoops, running a country is tough. Maybe I need to relax and channel my inner child."

"…Ommmmmmmmmmmmmoooooney, heh, heh, …ommmm…"

"I've had a lot of free time this year."

'Thanks to your Yoga classes, my usual state of catatonic stupor is easily mistaken for deep deliberation.'

'So the yoga classes are working out pretty well for you then?'

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

'OK, Now let's see your Downward Dog'.'

'The Only Time it's Okay for a Man to Think about Nothing.'

"Remember, ladies, if you're doing this right, you shouldn't be able to do it."

Yogi Comedy: A yogi comedian tells a yoga joke. '...is this thing aum?'

Downward Dog

I love Yoga

"I'm really having trouble dealing with the global pandemic,economic collapse and cancellation of my weekly yoga class."

'Now relax and imagine your body slowly melting into the ground.'

The Skullsmashers gang was known for was cruel and inhuman initiation rituals.

Santa Yoga

Meditating on Cacti

Downward spiralling dog.

"I want you to find your centre."

Cat Yoga

Celebrity Yoga.

'Please forgive the assumption, but you're new at yoga, aren't you?'

'Oh my gosh, this is terrific! I just tuned in satellite radio.'

"Ohm... Ohm... Tom..."