Yeti Humorist Pillows

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

Glance Exchange

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

"How about a hand."

"It's just a tree."

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams, transformed into a monstrous vermin, he thought to himself: never again bourbon and tequila in the same night, and this time, I mean it."

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

"How long were you in that headstand?"

'The Lemming Book Store'

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

"I cross the road to forget."

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

'You can't come in here with that.'

Self Help / Elf Help.

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

One Painting Says To the Other... 'Do you ever get that creepy feeling like they are watching you.'