Yogic Humorist Pillows

Death of a Goat Yoga Instructor

Yoga classes door.

My God, I need to fart.

"How long were you in that headstand?"

"Avoid sitting."

"Downward facing dog"

Al, you look nonplussed. I just heard that they discovered a new astrological sign, and my birthday now falls under the sign of the jackass.

'Yeah, I'm a trife scorpio - what of it?'

"Ha ha. You tell that one in every lifetime. Ha ha. It never gets old."

'Isn't it about time for our seventh-year stretch?'

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

"I said half-moon pose, not full moon!"

"Yoga World is two blocks past Yoga Palace. If you see Yoga Mecca, you've gone too far."

Dachshund Yoga

"Complaining empowers us."

"The Pain may be due to your Yin and Yang being out of alignment, but humour me and lets see if your broken let is part of the problem."

'Yoga? Tell me more.'

I know it's not on the yoga dvd but a spider crawled up my sleeve

Om, I will kill him, ooommm. Om, I will kill him, ooommm... Jack would later be charged with premeditated murder

"Hi, I'm Kevin and I'll be your server tonight...but I guess you already knew that!"

He's been working out and eating right. His waistline is trim and he's strengthening his core. He has a right to be proud of himself --- but I'm not going to do what he wants and start calling him the "Abdominal Snowman."

Yogi Comedy: A yogi comedian tells a yoga joke. '...is this thing aum?'

It is true, we make our art in the sand, and then it is wiped clean to reflect the impermanence of life. Zen kitties. Litter.

Snowperson Yoga

"Your lives will continue to stink until you find your center."

Although the telescope's elevation gear was broken, Hopkins' scientists were in no rush to have it repaired.

The Deli Lama - Sandwich shop.

Downward spiralling dog.

As they gathered for the three hour meditation it was clear that some students were less prepared than others...

'Please forgive the assumption, but you're new at yoga, aren't you?'

Buddhist Burgers: 'Make me one with everything'.

Today: Hot Yoga.

Zen Master Huineng

"Symmetry? No - I'm actually a Virgo."

Al, did you know there are people who believe you can foresee the future by the coagulation of cheese? It's called tyromancy. Are you kidding? I'm an incurable tyromantic! Odd Facts.